A Pongsmas Encounter
by Blade of Justice
Summary: Nisa may not always be the hero Gamindustri needs... And she probably isn't always the hero Gamindustri deserves... But this holiday season, she's exactly what the doctor ordered for one former underling.


For heroes, there was never any resting time. How could a hero take a break when there might be evil afoot? For heroes, there was never any vacation time. How could a hero go on a trip when villains could plan something terrible around it? For heroes, there was never a holiday. For heroes, they had none of it. No breaks, no vacations, and definitely no holidays. Not on Hilloween, not on Thanksharing, not on Saint Pac's Day, not on Green Friday (_especially_ not on Green Friday), and _certainly_ not on Pongsmas.

For Nisa, hero of heroes, savior of saviors, example of examples, and so on of so ons, her tireless crusade for justice would always continue, no matter what holiday or other event presented itself before her. Wherever she was, _justice_ would surely follow.

Sure, sometimes she might be crusading for justice by means of crusading to get the high score on her favorite game that Gust had _stolen_ from her when she hadn't been looking. Sometimes she might be crusading for justice by means of doing quests like everyone else she knew did, just with more heroic flair and dramatic kicking and superb posing... And other times still it might simply be getting jobs as a bodyguard at conventions. Still, those were trivialities. The point was that at all times, heroes were on the job! No matter what! Even if it didn't look like they were! Even if they were beating up that innocent bystander for saying something about the hero's bust size! "Innocent" _indeed_!

In other words, Pongsmas was obviously no such exception. For this heroine, justice was a dish best served filled with cookies — and with a side of milk! To dish out the perfect serving for the occasion, she had decked herself out in a snappy red outfit, complete with the token cap, and was off to spread her brand of holiday heroism at a popular local gathering point, where villainy was sure to rear its ugly head were she not there protecting the citizens.

Some might translate the previous sentence into something silly and _painfully_ mundane like "Nisa was walking down the street to the mall where she was working part-time to buy presents for her friends, which she _may_ have put off for so long that she forgot why she got the job in the first place," but such a simple, shameless, _unheroic_ translation would be faulty, rude, and not _nearly_ filled with enough respect for the epic role the young hero was playing this Pongsmas season — not to mention it would completely ignore all of the joy she was spreading!

Regardless, whatever she was doing, be it dressed in heroic red and on a quest of the utmost importance or just on her way to work, the fact remained that today, Nisa was most definitely walking down the street. She may or may not have been humming the theme song to a certain Sunday morning television show while she walked, but that has little to do with anything this fine day. Whatever she was humming was only to focus her mind at the important task ahead of her, after all! They do say that music helps one focus on important, serious tasks.

"... and with the discount I get at the toy store, I can get Nepgear the DX Omega Rainbow Robo model I saw her ogling last week..."

_Important._

"... and I'll get IF the new book that Notwhiteheart Notblanc person that released last month, since she's been looking forward to it... Shoot, I really wish I could figure out what bothered me so much about that author's name...! What is it with all these foreign names lately!?"

_Serious_.

"And Marvelous... She can have a gift card to Kasumi's Secret. She sure needs it. But if they tell me boys can't come in there _again_, I swear, I'm gonna..."

_Tasks-_

"... and then for the twins, I bet they'd like-"

"Hey, flatso, watch where you're-"

Before Nisa could continue planning out her very important and very serious tasks, she realized she had crashed right into someone that had just crossed the street. Appalled with herself, the heroine of justice quickly bowed her head. No mission was an excuse for such rudeness, especially to a good natured citizen like the one she had most assuredly smashed into! And it was a good thing in her surprise after the collision that she had missed the comment the person had made.

"Forgive me! I have to get to the mall and..." A snicker halted Nisa's apology in its tracks. A _familiar_ snicker. Raising her head, a frown forming on her heroic features, the blue haired girl's mouth fell open when she realized just who she had crashed into. Her eyes widened, and after taking a defensive jump backwards — making sure not to hit anyone else in the process — she raised a hand to point at the dastardly devilish diva! "Hey, wait a minute! You're... You're...!"

Linda's eyes sparkled mischievously. She'd been having a rotten day so far, and she was _this_ close to breaking her "clean" streak and seeing if she could make off with a candy bar — maybe even _two_ candy bars! — from the grocery store amidst all the holiday havoc, but now she'd gotten this bozo on her own. No CPUs to save her sorry ass, and Linda'd been toughening up. Maybe she could spread some holiday "cheer" this way, eh? She needed to relieve some stress. If she could get it over with fast enough, maybe she'd be out of here before this loon started getting annoying. At least she'd probably have a little time before that happened...

"... Hahaha! It turns out I don't remember!"

Nope. Never mind. Wasn't possible. Annoying was this moron's one and only setting.

Laughing heartily, Nisa straightened up and put her hands on her hips, her previous defensiveness all but faded away. Linda could practically _taste_ the condescension radiating off of the washboard. Condescension that, naturally, wasn't actually there, but that's what happens when people with drastically different perspectives crash into each other — literally, as had happened only a few moments ago, and figuratively, as was happening right now.

"ASIC is gone, so you can't be an Underling anymore... Can't call you that, now can I?" The blue haired girl looked rather thin, Linda noticed offhandedly, standing there without that huge scarf of hers. She raised a hand to stroke her chin thoughtfully, a curious expression crossing her features. The girl seemed strangely sour for some reason. That bothered Nisa — it would bother Nisa more if this wasn't an ex-villain (or _hopefully_ ex-villain, anyway) she was talking to, but... She had to be sure. "You _are_ staying out of trouble now, aren't you? I haven't seen you around lately, so I figured you'd cleaned up your act. If you haven't, 'Underling' still works, but if you have... Um... What do I call you?" While her expression had been starting to look almost sheepish, the girl quickly put on a hard face again. "But don't try to lie to me! Heroes know these things, you know!"

Ignoring the last minute posturing, Linda simply blinked, biting back the remark she had been about to make at the other girl. She had assumed it was "Underling" that the bimbo before her couldn't remember, but it seemed _that_ stupid name was a no brainer to the girl — well, not shit it was with how much they'd used that stupid nickname. So... That meant she was seriously thinking about Linda's name?

She felt something... weird in her chest. It was related to her thoughts about stealing a chocolate bar. It wasn't a feeling Linda was used to feeling, that much the paled skinned girl was very much aware, but she _was_ pretty sure she could put a name on it. It was just... It couldn't be.

This stupid hero wasn't making her feel... _shame_, was she?

Ugh! Forget it! Forget all about it! Just... witty retort. Witty retort. Those always work. Get one out fast and move on.

"Yeah yeah yeah, I'm staying outta trouble — not that it'd matter." Linda shrugged at the defensive look Nisa offered her, opting to change the subject. "So, you don't remember my name? 'Course you don't remember my friggin' name, you idiot. You and your bratty friends never bothered to use it, remember?" Despite her words, the fact that this so-called hero (more like zero! ... ugh, that was bad — good thing she hadn't said it out loud) had remembered she'd even _had_ a real name after all this time _had_ gotten to her a little. Her witty retort wasn't so much of either, as it turned out. Maybe it was the holiday season getting to her? Yuck, she hoped not. She hated that junk. "But, uh... It's Linda, okay? My name."

Now it was Nisa's turn to blink back at the other girl, the gears in her head clearly turning.

_Pleasing don't say something stupid please don't say something stupid please don't-_

"No pun? Nothing like... Warenda? Lindiracy? Not even a reference to something really outdated, like a **XXXX**shark...?" The girl crossed her arms, putting _way _too much thought into whatever she was thinking about despite the horrified expression Linda was giving her in response to the different things she was saying about Linda's name — one of which such a blatant reference that it had even had to be _censored_! "No wonder we never remembered it. I... I apologize on behalf of your parents, Linda. Maybe if you had been given a more memorable name, you never would have turned to a life of crime!"

As if time had stopped in order for her to become the protagonist of the situation, Linda found herself faced with a few options, she realized. She could hit Nisa. She could yell at Nisa. She could hit Nisa _and_ yell at Nisa. _Or_...

"Ow! Ow ow ow- Hey, get back here! That hurt! I may not be sure if you're a villain or not right now, but you're really making me wonder!"

... she could kick Nisa in the shin and walk away without saying a word, acting rather like a brat herself.

Stuffing her hands into her pockets, the girl scowled miserably at the ground. All day, she'd been having to listen to holiday jingles and other crap that she just did not want to deal with. Right now, there was one coming from behind her from some store or another — it was ridiculous! So she'd thought she'd get some relief by screwing with that boob (or boobless boob, she supposed — now that one was kind of funny), but she just felt worse. Had she been getting pity? Even before the stupid crap about her name? It's not like the holiday season's easy for the bad guys! Even if she was staying out of trouble, she was just an average schmuck! None of that holiday joy was gonna come her way. The only Pongsmas Pie _she'd_ be getting would be whatever she could mooch off Pirachu later tonight_._

She couldn't believe she'd started to feel something over what that idiot had said! She'd _had_ to go and get that joke in, huh? Those hero types were all the same, bunch of loud mouthed jackasses. Almost as bad as the annoying songs she'd been having to put up with all month!

Speaking of which, even now, that asinine holiday music just wouldn't _stop_! This time it was some new _thunk... thunk... thunk..._ beat that she'd never even heard before... And it wouldn't _stop_! Who listened to this kind of crap!?

"Turn that crap _down_ already, you son of a..." Finally unable to take anymore of it, Linda spun around to tear off the head of whatever store owner was blasting that garbage — only to discover that the rhythmic noise she'd been hearing was actually Nisa, hopping desperately down the sidewalk to catch up with Linda. "... Guess I got her harder than I thought. Heh. Whaddya know? That _does_ help my stress a little."

While she briefly considered dashing over to knock the girl over and seeing just how much better she felt after doing _that_, instead, Linda found herself crossing her arms and leaning against the side of the building she had been walking by. The fact that the blue haired hero was yelling "Linda! Wait!" after each hop didn't have anything to do with that, though. Definitely not.

"Whew! That was a workout!" Grinning awkwardly at Linda, Nisa happily leaned against the same building Linda had positioned herself against as soon as she was close enough so that she didn't need to yell to be heard anymore. Who knew the girl had had such a kicking leg on her when she'd only ever used weapons? "Hey, um... What I said about your name-" Linda narrowed her eyes. _Now_ she would bust out the witty retort if this incomprehensible idiot actually was going to bring this back up after Linda had waited for her. "Forget it! It was an unheroic thing to say, and more importantly, I wanted to talk."

Linda simply rolled her eyes.

"You? _Talk_? That'll be the day. Not even Pongsmas could get me to believe something like that is possible." She snorted, an amused smirk crossing her lips at the idea. They may had not seen each other in a while, but who did this chick think she was? _Her_ memory was fine, thank you very much. "Do you even know _how_? All I've ever seen you do is yell and pose like an idiot. Sometimes both, but never neither."

To Linda's surprise, Nisa's surprisingly flustered retort came almost instantly.

"H-Hey! You were a villain before, all the way back then...! Why would I do anything else!?" Even though she was acting like her actions were the most natural ones in the world, the reaction Nisa was giving Linda right now was a stark contrast to the ones Linda was used to seeing from the loudmouth. It was almost funny. If only she wasn't so damn annoying, maybe the girl really _could_ have been used for stress relief... In a matter of speaking. Too bad about her mouth though. "And it's not like an idiot. When you stay off the path of evil for a few more years, maybe you'll understand."

Somehow Linda doubted that she would ever understand, no matter what she did.

"Whaaaatever..." Shaking her head, the pointy eared girl turned away from Nisa, instead looking blithely towards the street before her, her gaze settling on a Pongsmas decoration. Her expression quickly turned sour, and with it, her mood began to follow. This did not go past Nisa's notice, which surprised the girl. "Get to the point before I kick your other leg. I've got things to do, y'know. You're probably off to go donate to starving kittens or something, but _some_ people have _real_ Pongsmases planned."

Hearing this, Nisa couldn't help but frown. The girl was showing an obvious disdain for the holiday, and it hadn't seemed like she'd been in a hurry to go anywhere before. In fact, before Nisa had said what she had to get her to leave earlier, it had almost seemed like she had been lingering for some reason, rather than in a hurry to leave... Well, that worked well enough with what Nisa wanted to talk about — it was a small sort of thing, but... While she may have been just a loudmouth to some, her heart was always... well, usually in the right place, and this was no exception. Nisa just hoped Linda wouldn't make her drag her.

"Actually, I've just got to go to work is all...!" Nisa puffed out her chest proudly, not that there was much_ to_ puff out — a fact Linda decided to not comment on — and put her hands on her hips once again. At least this was a familiar thing for her to do, though Linda wasn't sure if she was comfortable with the idea of Nisa being "familiar" to her. "Didn't I say I had to go to the mall before? I get a nice discount for doing the job, the kids around here get to be happy, and then I can finish all my shopping once I get off."

The girl formerly known as Underling quirked an eyebrow. Partially because, to put it simply, she was trying to hold back whatever her full reaction was. Laughter? Condescension? She didn't know.

She _had_ noticed the outfit, of course she had, but...

"That's... weirdly mundane of you, actually. I think I'd be less disgusted if you really were helping starving kittens or orphans or something lame like that. Seriously, this makes me wanna puke a little bit, knowing you know how to be normal." Linda rolled her eyes when Nisa responded to the remark by means of edging away from her, like she was afraid that she was legitimately in danger of being thrown up on. What an _idiot_. Probably for the best — if Nisa _was_ doing something with some poor cats, Linda... might... be tempted to... uh, follow her and set the place on fire! Hahaha, yeah, that's it! Definitely not sneak in food later though! What kind of person would do _that_? "Anyway, uh, isn't it kinda last minute to be doing shopping? Like _really really_ last minute? What the hell took you so long?"

To this, Nisa quickly averted her gaze, an incredibly — _amazingly, deliciously_ — guilty look on her face, which in turn brought Linda's smirk right straight back. This was going to be good. Oh so so so good.

"You didn't... _forget_, did you?" The blue haired girl before Linda flinched so hard that her goggles tumbled down from her head and onto her eyes. Linda's smirk widened all the more. _Jackpot_. "You had a holiday specific job at a mall and you _forgot_? Ha! Hahahahaha! That is _awesome_! Some hero you are! I'm impressed! Seriously, I knew you were a total bimbo, but this is just..."

Her laughter began to fade as she realized a reply wasn't coming. In fact, the blue haired girl was just awkwardly readjusting her goggles, staring at the ground like she'd kicked a puppy. Dead on as Linda was, she was way off base in regards to the kind of reaction the other girl was going to give her.

Linda sighed, kicking her foot on the ground.

It just wasn't worth it when they didn't get pissy and throw a tantrum.

And really... Had it even been worth it back then? Even once? She had always just got beaten up. That was why she'd really gotten her act cleaned up — she knew how it would end before she even started doing anything "bad."

"Uh..." Now this just felt awkward. Why the hell had she waited for this girl to catch up with her? She should have tipped her over like a cow and run off! That's what she should have done! Thinking on that a bit more, Linda realized Nisa had offered her an out — and the girl hadn't even realized it! Damn! Way to not pay attention, Linda! "Don't you need to go? You'll probably be late, right? So... Go on! Spread your justice or your joy or whatever gross crap you're hoping to spread like a diseases. I don't want any part of it."

Unbeknownst to Linda, Nisa too had been waiting for this. Pushing aside her failure to complete her friendly and heroic duties, Nisa turned to the girl next to her, leg recovered, and held out her hand. It was a truly poignant pose — one she knew would impact anyone who saw it! With this one movement, she would change Linda's life forever — for the _better_! Everything in their relationship — getting kicked in the shin, all the fights, all the arguments, getting kicked in the shin, all the battles, all the clashes, getting kicked in the shin... It had all led to this moment of Nisa offering Linda redemption! If only they could have had better theme music...!

"Only if you come with me."

The pale girl stared. First thing? Nisa's eyes had spontaneously erupted into dramatic flames at some point. Not a good sign. Second thing? She was sparkling. She already wanted less to do with this than she would have if Nisa had asked her upfront, which was not at all. She she wanted negative to do with this.

In other words, she did not want anything to do with this... this _this_. Whatever it was. And if any flower petals started circling them, then she was so out of here.

"You do know I have zero problems with you getting fired, right?" Inching slightly to the side, Linda looked around, hoping she wasn't the only one as weirded out by this as she was. To her dismay, it looked like either insanity was so common that people in Gamindustri didn't pay it mind anymore, or that everyone was so busy with their holiday they didn't care for a pair of girls chatting like idiots to give it a second glance. Really, she _was_ an idiot for having stuck around this long, wasn't she? "Honest. I'm totally cool with you losing your job. Actually, it'd be funny if you did."

Strangely enough, this didn't seem to bother Nisa in the slightest. In fact, it seemed to egg her on — restore her to her pre-"I have sinned! I am guilty! I didn't use layaway!" state all the more. For her response was simply...

"What a coincidence!" A dramatic yell, complete with a finger being thrust in Linda's direction like she had said something that was apparently so coincidental that... it... Darn it, Linda could _not_ follow this lunatic's train of thought! At all!

"How the hell is this a coincidence?!" Not one to give in, Linda stomped her foot down and pointed right back — making a point to make sure her hand was nowhere near Nisa's when she did so. She just wanted to be left alone and feel sorry for herself! Maybe she'd be seasonably late (Hilloween _had_ been a few months ago) and throw bloody pyramids at some stores! But she'd do it alone! That was all she wanted for Pongsmas! Why wasn't this brat letting her do that!?

Nisa's eyes flashed dangerously. Linda faltered. That was the look she'd often seen before the girl knocked her to the ground.

... Had she seriously gotten Post Traumatic Stupid Disorder from this girl?!

"It's a coincidence because _I_ have zero problems with dragging you there!" Looking extremely proud of herself, the self-proclaimed hero (because _what the hell kind of hero _says stuff like that if they're legitimate!?) crossed her arms, and in Linda's mind's eye, she could practically see her scarf just dramatically flowing in the air, even though the thing _wasn't even there_!

"Wh- That's not a coincidence! Do you even know what a coincidence is!?" Not one to be stopped, Linda fought back — and what's more, she had the weapon of logic on her side. There was no way she could lose with that! ... Okay, it was 50/50 with this chick, but she was still gonna try her damnedest! "That's the least coincidental thing I've ever heard, numbskull!"

"I know you looked like you had nothing better to do and I know the mall is short on elves today. With those perky ears, not to mention that complexion perfect for the part? You'd be the best one there."

Linda knew she was being played. She knew it. She knew it and Nisa knew it. Nisa wasn't hiding it, after all. Actually, Nisa wasn't even _trying_ to hide it. Nisa's face was doing the worst job hiding it in the history of hiding anything. Ever. Because she wasn't even trying to hide it. Because she knew she had Linda. Or she thought she did. Whatever.

Know what though?

Linda didn't care.

She'd take it anyway.

"Who says I have nothing better to do?" Crossing her arms, the girl turned her head away from Nisa and closed her eyes. The first person to call her a tsundere would die a horrible death after having their body prepared _personally_ by CFW Trick. Just saying. "You talk pretty big talk... Arrogant hero, aren't you? Tch, you always _were_ like that, weren't you? Dumb bitch..."

"Are you saying you don't?" Paying exactly no mind to the comments Linda muttered under her breath, Nisa simple continued on her newfound quest — the quest that she mentally dubbed "Catch the Elf!" While there were no share rewards for it or anything like that, she liked to think it would be worth it if she could complete it all the same. "Are you _sure_ you're saying that? Really?"

Heroes didn't always know where the path of justice would take them. Nisa knew this better than most people. She'd been to all kinds of places — she'd been to a demonic boot camp made for the souls of the damned stuffed into penguin suits, she'd been to a place some might call hell, and she'd been to even more than that still. Today, though, she felt like that path had led her straight to her former enemy. In smaller terms? She felt bad for the girl. Here she was, literally decked out from head to toe in holiday cheer and off to spread some to everyone she could... And here Linda was, sulking around the streets, looking like she'd never had a nice Pongsmas in her life. So long as she didn't try anything evil, was it really so wrong if Nisa offered a hand? Maybe if someone had done it sooner, the grumpy girl would have been on their side when they fought ASIC instead of on ASIC's... Though now she was just starting to fantasize a little.

In any case, she still had to pay Linda back for kicking her, and she wouldn't be able to do it if they went their separate ways right now. That had really hurt!

"Maybe I am!" If Linda was anything, she was stubborn. And awesome. And totally not going to give in to what this bimbo was offering her. Okay, Linda was actually a few things. Among those things, though, was the stubbornness to prevent her from giving in to this loser! Which she was definitely not going to lose. Definitely. ... _Definitely_, she said. "What're you gonna do about it?"

Nisa grinned. That was the spirit!

"Well, as a hero, I'll surely and moooost definitely be able to convince you that it will be worth your while to come! I'll give you a dramatic speech about how I believe you to have reformed from your former ways, and how I would be honored to be your first friend now that you've seen the light... Or something like that. It'll come to me if you make me go there, but I don't think you will." Oh, oh so that's how this was? She was already acting like she'd won, was she? What a _cocky_ little... "And you'll seriously cost me my job if you don't."

Despite how riled up her words initially got her... Instead of an angry stream of curses leaving her, all the girl could muster was a sigh. Linda hated to admit it, but part of her was tempted. On Pongsmas Day, the crowd would either be horrible or nonexistent, and it really was a hell of a lot of a better way to spend her time than trudging around freezing her ass off and glaring at everyone that looked at her funny. At least this way, she could maybe makes some kids cry out of the deal. That, and she really did _not_ want to have to hear any dramatic speeches. She was pretty sure this was already worth at least one, if not more.

There might have been something more to it. Maybe she wanted to be wanted, even if only just once, on a Pongsmas. It would be...

No. It definitely wasn't that. That kind of sappy junk was for airheaded chicks like Nisa and her ragtag bunch of hippies, like that broad Pirachu was always talking about, but definitely not for her... And yet, even so, her next words were still...

"What do you get out of offering this to me?"

_Damn it_!

"Me?" At last, the blue haired heroine finally seemed taken off guard. That was something Linda preferred. Especially compared to the attitude she'd been displaying up to now. "I don't really get anything out of it. You're the one who gets something out of it, right? And besides, you're the one who looked so lone-"

Never mind. Linda took it back. She didn't like this either.

"Don't you _dare_." She was surprised at how mad she sounded, but that just made her angrier — because she'd only be that upset if there was truth to it. She didn't intend to give Nisa the pleasure of knowing that much, however. Instead, she lowered her voice, making sure to keep her gaze averted from Nisa, and threatened her. "Finish that sentence and I'm going to go rob something right now."

Wait... Why was that threatening _Nisa._..? Oh, whatever, just forget it.

"Fine! See if I invite you next year!" Wh- Why the hell did she sound so offended!? And she wasn't even taking Linda seriously either! What gives!? She was seriously going to rob something if Nisa didn't stop her! She- She'd _make_ Nisa stop her if she did it, just to make sure she didn't get to work on time! "So there!"

"I wouldn't want to go then either!" Linda spat her answer out before she realized her mouth was moving and the words were flowing. It was almost like she... No, she wasn't hopeful or anything. That was for creeps like Pirachu and their homemade hug pillows. "Now answer the question already!"

Yet here she was, pushing the subject when Nisa was giving her something of an out again — that or the girl had already, truly, assumed that Linda would be going. Either way... It really was starting to seem like it was set in stone, didn't it?

Well Linda would show _her_!

"The questio..." With that dumbfounded look, it wouldn't even be that _hard_ showing her either. Did she already forget? Seriously? What kind of brain just... forgets questions like that after, what, two seconds? "Oh! That one. Um, that one, right?"

Linda sighed. She wouldn't even reply. She didn't even know if she had a reply to that in her. She really didn't. She actually felt a migraine coming on on top of everything else... This girl was a walking migraine, that's what she was.

"I mean it!" Seeing that Linda wasn't paying attention to her anymore, Nisa put her foot down — literally. She took a step forward and held up a fist. Her face was as passionate as it was stupidly honest. And also stupid, Linda might have added. "I don't get anything. You will. If you don't, then that means you're lying, because you'll definitely get something."

Well that was tough to argue. If she didn't get anything out of it, then she supposed she could make Nisa get _her_ something with her paycheck too, couldn't she? Maybe a nice hot meal... Damn, Linda could _really_ go for that... Oh, and a really expensive sweater! Actually, know what? Even if she _did_ get something out of it — which she wouldn't, for the record — she could still lie for that reason, couldn't she?

"And if I don't want it?" Even though she _was_ starting to waver at this point, her pride was still having none of it — not to mention a long history of having to deal with this blue haired annoyance. She knew better — would being able to guilt the girl into something after really be worth having to put up with said girl? That was definitely something she couldn't be sure of. In fact... The more she thought about it, the more she was starting to waver on her wavering. "What if I don't? What if I hate it? Then what'll you do, huh?"

Unfortunately for Linda, not only did Nisa already have a plan, but it stood directly in the way of her fledgling plan of guilt tripping the other girl after the fact.

"You'll realize you not only wanted it, but that you're eternally grateful for it during the epilogue scene in your bed, as you think of the fond memories we shared together, fighting off waves of screaming kids and their helicopter parents!" Nisa knew that that was exactly how these sorts of things went. This _was_ obviously a Pongsmas story after all, and she'd already gotten in the obligatory outfit swap for it — they still had to work in Linda in some cute nightgown later to really complete the picture!

For her part, Linda had no idea what was going on in Nisa's mind — if anyone did. For her part, Linda was just trying to figure out what kind of expression her face was making. She hadn't been sure if her face was capable of gaping more than she already had been earlier, but whaddya know? She still had some gape left in her.

"That... That sounds _terrible_!" Way to turn her off ever going near Nisa ever again! Not that she had been intending to do it or anything, but seriously, this was the girl's idea of cheering someone up? She'd rather be anti-cheered up! She wanted nothing to do with crap like that! Who _would_ want to do that? Who in their right mind would want to do anything like that _willingly_? Besides the blue haired buffoon before her, anyway. "I'd rather spend the rest of the day screwing around by myself like I was gonna! I hate this holiday enough as it is, I _definitely_ don't-"

"Aha! So you _were_ lonely!" Nisa's grin was far too triumphant for someone talking about how lonely another person was or was not. She'd been spending too much time around Neptune, clearly. "You should have just said so in the first place. What kind of _friend_ would I be if I left you alone right now?

Linda hated how Nisa stressed the word "friend." She wanted to rip it out of the girl's mouth, spit on it, set it on fire, put the fire out by spitting on it some more, and then murder it and everyone it had ever loved.

Unfortunately, the only thing she could manage to do in response was get flustered. Not because It was _true_ or anything, but just... Because... Darn it, forget the narration for a minute, okay!? It's not true! It's _not_!

"Wha- I-I was not!" Shaking her head furiously, her mind raced for an excuse. Quickly landing on one that she was _sure_ would get her out of this idiotic mess, Linda snapped her fingers, turning to Nisa with a vibrant smile — one she hoped was as reminiscent of her days as a master villain as she hoped it looked. It felt like it was, anyway. Kind of. A little bit. Sort of. "I was plotting! Yeah, that's it! Plotting something _evil_! And you'd _never_ screw around with someone who's _evil_, would you?"

Linda could already tell from Nisa's expression that she wouldn't like the answer she was about to receive.

"Really? You were plotting, were you...?" Crossing her arms, the heroine of the holidays nodded a few times, as though she was giving this a great amount of thought. She was! ... Or so it seemed. In actuality, she had prepared for such a remark from the start! She was used to such villainous tactics from villainous villains like Linda! Plus that had been the plot on last week's episode of Nep Rangers! Good thing she'd taped it. "That's great! That's even better, actually! I'll put you under citizen's arrest then!"

So it turned out Linda _could_ gape even more. Thanks for helping her learn that about herself, Nisa. Really, she'd always wondered just how far her face would be able to go in the face of absurdity.

"Wha- No!" Shaking her head, Linda held up her arms in front of her to make them look like a giant "X," as if that would somehow block off the vigilante before her. Like hell she was going to do time for something she hadn't even done! She'd rather... No, she still wouldn't rather _actually go_ with Nisa, but... ... Would she...? "I wasn't plotting anything! Forget that! Forget that whole part, or else I'll deck you."

With that out of Linda's mouth, Nisa smiled. Linda couldn't turn around and say she'd been plotting after all now that she'd said it. What did that mean? Why, it meant that, unknowingly, just as Nisa may or may not have planned all along (or in the past minute or so), she had gotten Linda to accidentally admit... _the truth_!

And the truth would set her free!

Or... it would get her stuck with Nisa for the rest of the night, but that was about the same thing, right? Especially during the holiday season — freedom was being with people, wasn't it? Well, to Nisa it was, so it would be that way to Linda too!

"So you were really lonely after all? Still great! Actually, that's even better!" Linda failed to see _how_ that could _possibly_ be considered "great," but she was starting to realize that she should just give up trying to understand this person while she was ahead. "So it's settled then! You're spending Pongsmas with me, Linda!"

"L... Like _hell_ I am...!" Caught off guard by the sudden use of her name, Linda found herself stumbling about her words even more than she already had been. Worse still, _that_ attack looked like it had been completely unplanned by Nisa. Who _does_ shit like that, _seriously_!? Calling people by their name when they're vulnera... Never mind...! Forget that too! "We haven't settled _squat_ here! There's no way I'm doing it! Not now, not ever!"

This was it...!

Her eyes shining, Nisa knew it was finally time for her to bring _that_ out.

Her trump card.

Her secret weapon — the weapon that she'd been saving for this exact moment. The weapon that the hero is contractually obligated to save until the end of the episode, because using it any sooner would force them to come up with some kind of excuse for why the episode hadn't ended there... Because it was such a powerful weapon, it would _always_ work. All heroes had them. Some even had them for multiple occasions, multiple types of enemies.

And this was Nisa's for this one.

And so, as casually as she could, Nisa leaned against the wall, shrugged her shoulders... and unleashed the beast.

"You'll get paid."

"I said I..." Wait. Wait wait wait wait _wait_. Paid? She would get _paid_? As in... with money? That she could then use to purchase things with? Why the _hell_ hadn't she said that in the first place...!? "Paid? With real money? Not the good feelings of a job well done or any of that, right? With cold, hard cash?"

The hero grinned, almost giggling at the expression on Linda's face — but a giggle was unbecoming of a heroine! She could certainly chuckle, however.

She knew Linda hadn't caught on yet, but she could already see the ending now — she'd done it. She'd gotten herself an elf.

"Yep. Since no one else wants to work today, it's a pretty good job." Nisa left out the part that _she_ was honestly just happy to be giving the time to families that would be without a much needed mall mascot today, and the extra money was just a nice bonus for her. That wouldn't really do her any good to mention now — next year, maybe she could talk about things like that, but it was clearly too early right now. Speaking of extra money, though... "We get extra if any of the kids or their parents cause trouble for us too. New mall policy after a thong incident last year."

The gears were turning. The hamster was in its wheel. Nisa could see it as clearly as she could picture Linda putting on the green outfit and matching skirt now...!

"... Go on."

Or... were they...?

"R-Really?" Now _that_ surprised Nisa. Well, she wasn't one to judge... She didn't know Linda was into that kind of thing. "So this one girl decided she wanted to go to Kasumi's Secret instead of the toy store, so she waited for her mom to look away and-"

"Not about that!" Linda could have screamed. "What else do we get?"

Oh! Why hadn't she said so? For now, Nisa wouldn't comment on that — because Linda had just said "we."

"There's also gonna be be an after party after closing with a ton of free food." After that, Nisa began recounting some of the different things that she knew were going to be at the party — games, performers, that sort of thing, but Linda had already stopped listening.

Nisa had said it. The magic word. The f word.

_Free_.

"I'm in."

* * *

><p><em>And that, boys and girls, is the story of how Nisa Claus, the most heroic mall mascot of them all, met her new sidekick, Lindolph ("That's <em>Linda_!") the red faced elf girl. It is said that they would go on to battle the Toddlers of Terror, the Regal Reindeer, the Tinseltown Thong Thief, and many other foes with appropriately themed names on the quest to their holiday paycheck... But that, dear readers, is another story._

_Merry Pongsmas to all, and to all a good night!_


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